With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
