Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
