Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
