is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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