Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
