You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
