Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
