is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
