apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
