We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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