i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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