One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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