i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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