I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
