Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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