He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
