Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Will exercising make me less horny?
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