I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
