This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
