Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
