My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
