i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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