some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
