my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You were trust falling into bushes
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
