Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
