I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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