SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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