We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
