I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize