that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You need a sexual gate keeper
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
