Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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