apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
