there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
