When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
