singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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