i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
