can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
