What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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