Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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