I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
