Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
