There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
