i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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