I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
