she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
