Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
