I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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