Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
