My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
how drunk are you?
Several
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
