My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
