if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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