Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
